oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
