marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
