Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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