Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize