Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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