You just made me feel so damn special
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
