Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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