yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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