tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
