I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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