if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
