You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
