Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
