i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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