What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
