Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
