Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
