oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
