so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
