My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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