You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Still dying that you shit outside
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
