I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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