He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
