She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
