she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize