I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Randomize
