So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize