you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
