we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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