it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
