I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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