Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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