Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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