I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it's like iHOP with fire
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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