So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
