I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
