we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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