She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
