i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
