I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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