i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
