I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
