We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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