I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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