it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
