i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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