How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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