I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
