I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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