So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
