watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
