I puked a lego.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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