You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
