My brain says no but my pants say off.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Come on in and take your pants off
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