You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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