That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize