i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Are we still banned from the library?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
