I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
