Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
