That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
