we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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