and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
