White coat. Heels.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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