Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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