I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
