Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
