Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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