So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
