Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
