Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
