So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Your penis caused this!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
